I’ve been a victim of sexual abuse in my past, and I’m working through the repercussions of this - but I keep getting scared/worried that I’m ‘damaged goods’ now - and that I’ll never find a guy that would love me enough to want to be my husband etc. How do I work through this with God - any tips or things to focus on? Thanks for all that you do on the blog/podcast!
I am deeply and profoundly sorry that someone did that to you. Let us get one thing clear: you are not damaged goods. In fact for the first time in the history of this blog, I am going to have to go all caps lock on you: YOU ARE NOT DAMAGED GOODS.
You are a child of God who was purchased with the blood of Jesus and is a house of the Holy Spirit of God. What you are not, is damaged goods. If anyone ever tells that you are, feel free to direct them to me and I will explain that to them in person and possibly engage in a little Chicago style ‘laying on of hands”.
Sexual abuse does not define you. It defines your abuser. They are the person who made a decision and carried out an action. You were a victim. Not a participant, or an accomplice, a victim. That says nothing about you as a person.
No man worth giving the time of day is going to think any less of you because of this. Any guy who would look down on you for being the victim of abuse is a clown, a punk, and several other words that I will hold back in order to keep this a family show. To keep going on with your life and work through this shows an incredible strength of character and faith in the Lord. That is what a guy who gets it is going to see.
Your past is not a disabling injury, it is a battle scar that projects how tough and real you are. You should not be worried about if you will ever find a guy who is willing to accept your past. You should be focused on asking the Lord to send you a guy who can keep up with your bad self. You need to ask the Lord to help you remember who you are.
Also, the man you marry will have his own past. We all have painful things in our past. The Lord’s mercy is made new every morning, and that is something we all need to cling to. A godly man realizes the things the Lord has brought him through and saved him from and realizes that God is working the same way in the lives of others.
You are not impure because of this (check out this post by my boss and the internet’s favorite uncle, Unka Glen for more about that). You are not unlovable, you are not less of a person, and you are not damaged goods. You are a beloved daughter of the most high God, and there is nothing anyone can do to change that.-Matt from The Bridge
Being Sexually Abused Does Not Make You Damaged Goods